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Day 48 – Given a booster

Rather than increase my Elvanse dose, which she says probably won’t lengthen the effects much, Dr E prescribes me some little ‘booster’ pills: 5mg Dexamphetamine Sulfate.

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Day 49 – A little pill

I dry swallow the new pill (2/10, do not recommend with dry mouth) on the way back to the office. Probably 15 minutes after I take it, I think I can feel it kicking in.

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Day 50 – rounding up

I take the plunge and swallow 10mg of the Dex at 12.00 – two of the little 5mg pills. An hour later my mind feels quite sharp but also quite urgent, a new sensation that I’m not sure I love.

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Day 52 – Water puzzle

Apparently, as my friend told me yesterday, I might actually be drinking too much water. One of the symptoms of that is, annoyingly, dry mouth.

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Day 53 – Get moving

I discover that I am now alarmingly unfit. That was a quick deterioration. I struggle to complete a few kneeling push-ups. Guess I’d better add “get off your arse” to the daily chore list.

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Ending

I find it very hard to get it through my head that, no, I won’t “finish this bit off tomorrow”. I’ve always had a bit of an issue coming to terms with things ending. This might be the longest thing that I have ended.

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The Year of Calm

If I try to identify a thread that runs through the negative areas of my life – lateness, half-finished tasks, frustration – it is a lack of calm and clarity.

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