Day 9 – Thrice socialised

a simple black and pink icon of three people together

See friends at lunch, see friend’s grandmother after work, see far too many people at meeting
General notes: Second day on 50mg Elvanse.
Mental notes: Still happy, get a bit frustrated with computer and a little manic in the evening after too much coffee.
Physical notes: Again regarding the coffee, feel quite strange after fourth cup. A bit light-headed and heart racing. Back to normal very quickly though. Manage to eat OK dinner (chips and spring roll).

Feel good again this morning (though not as fireworks-in-the-brain as yesterday), but frustratingly lose half of my newly prized hour of morning productivity to a sulking computer. The ancient mac is starting to make noises about retirement. We’ve all got to make sacrifices, I tell it. Pulling together in austerity and all that. Hey, if it worked for the Conservatives…

I’m finding that I need to pick a direction at work early on at the Day Job, otherwise I end up focused on something I hadn’t intended to complete. It’s still better than struggling to focus at all – work is getting done, just not in the order I planned yesterday – but I’ve got to be better at harnessing the tools I’m given rather than just expecting them to magically guide me.

At lunchtime I get a couple of bits done in town and then pop into the local pub for a chinwag with the general populace, for the first time in a while. It’s super easy to make a hermit of yourself when you want to be working, and I think my mates worry about me!

Very nice hour which includes a talk with one of my friends who is on a manic upswing (bipolar). It’s difficult because I like to embrace all sides of her, and she’s fun and clever and needs support when she’s like this, but I worry about the long-term consequences of some of her actions.

I talk with one of my friends who is on a manic upswing. It’s difficult because I like to embrace all sides of her, but I worry

The afternoon progresses nicely and I trot down to my best friend’s grandmother’s (Nanna’s) house after work.

Nanna’s great – in her 90s, quite disabled after a nasty fall a few years ago, very deaf; but still kind, and full of stories, and capable of the insight that only comes with experience. I started popping in when my friend asked me to (she moved to another country for a year), but I’ve continued because I enjoy it; and because the idea of someone being lonely makes me desperately sad. More so than most things.

After that I have a community meeting to take minutes at. I worry about crashing halfway through (they go on until 22.00, usually) and have a coffee – my fourth of the day – in the refreshment break. I feel my heart race and regret it. Heart rate at 100. Eek.

Saying goodbye to a participant, I talk too quickly and too loudly, sounding quite strange. I hope they don’t think I’m on drugs. Or perhaps I’m overthinking it.

Get chips and curry sauce again on the way home and manage to nearly finish it, along with a spring roll that the nice man gave me for free. Oh, gosh, maybe he thinks I’m broke, or ill, now that I’m suddenly ordering small portions.

I get home and work on various little things until Joe gets back, about 23.30. I am suddenly aware that I am tired. I get to sleep much more easily, and sleep deeply.

Featured image: original image by IO-Images, Pixabay

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