Probably losing my job, probably not feeling as panicked as I should be, definitely not taking enough action
Something I should have already written about but haven’t – because it’s a bit overwhelming – is the fact that I am almost certainly going to be made redundant in the New Year.
The Day Job is struggling to find new contracts and my boss has given me a heads-up that, unless this changes before January, (increasingly unlikely) he’ll have to give me my 30 days’ notice and close the company entirely.
This is, obviously, a tad stressful.
Am I bothered, though?*
I’m not feeling the distress I probably should be, or that people seem to expect me to – I expect this is an extension of my usual inability to care about stuff (whether good or bad) until it’s insistently ringing my metaphorical doorbell and tapping its annoying metaphorical foot impatiently.
I’ll be sad to move on from Day Job. I very much like my bosses, and I’ve put a lot of work into the site.
On the other hand, I do like novelty (unless it’s before 9am, in which case I am utterly terrified of any change whatsoever).
I’m not, even if I look at it rationally rather than emotionally, particularly worried, as such.
I’ve done some scribbled maths: I can work a minimum wage job and cover the rent and bills (yay for cohabitation). I could even, theoretically, work few enough hours (i.e. under 40) that I could spend some time rebuilding a good freelance base and aim for complete self-employment (pros: work from home; cons: tax nonsense).
Good grief, get going
What the situation is doing is stretching my mental resources. I’m idly browsing jobs before bed (often at 1am… not good, Frankie) and at lunchtime, but I haven’t made a solid start on:
- Rewriting my CV
- Properly saving/categorising the jobs I’ve looked at
- Starting cover letters
- Trying to remember how job interviews work
- Making a real budget
- Upping the freelance work (yes, including content mill bollocks… every little counts)
* I often resort to mid-noughties catchphrases in times of crisis