Motivation vs Direction

All things told, this is a fantastic problem to be having.

If you’d told me a year ago that my main issue with work would be an almost infinite amount of desire to do it, but a lack of time and clarity to do it effectively, I’d have looked at you like you’d grown another head.

How wonderful to want to work!

This change in desire is partly because of my own shift in mindset – I feel good when I achieve things, and that is filtering down into my subconscious after decades – but mainly because of medication.

Elvanse (Vyvanse to Americans) has opened the gates to those little dopamine rewards that say “hey, good job!” whenever I do something. As a result, I really want to work! I wantt o create, to organise, to build and to fix.

But my ADHD mind is not suddenly typical. The strands of inspiration and motivation thrash around the outside of my head like Medusa’s hairdo, vying for attention and occasionally biting me on the nose.

Now that self-employment has opened the sandbox mode in RPG Life 2.1, I am almost paralysed with attractive options.

This morning, I would like to write long articles for this website. I would like to write app reviews for my tech blog. I would like to start work on a podcast. I would like to try my hand at more design work.

I would also like to (and really must) complete some freelance writing/editing jobs to make some actual cash.

What all this comes down to, though, is a kind of glazed smile as I sit, coffee in hand, unable to decide where to start. The old problem, reborn in a more pleasing form.

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