June 2018 – The ADHD Diaries – Archive/TL;DRs

June 2018

Day 1 – After diagnosis
ADHD is shit, went to the doc’s, told life story, only cried once, got pills, wrote too much about it.

Day 1, Part 2 – Take the damn pill already, will you?

Took first pill. Enjoyed afternoon. Worked through evening. Forgot vienetta.
General notes: Took pill later than recommended, at about 12.00. Impatience only excuse.
Physical notes: Slightly higher heart rate, low appetite, dry mouth. No significant insomnia despite taking pill late.
Mental notes: Brain seems to be working more efficiently. Motivation present at high levels. Easier to stop myself from “following through” with distractions, although they still frequently occur to me. Feeling quite creative, despite fears to contrary.

Day 2 – Doing it properly-ish
General notes: Took pill (30mg Elvanse) earlier than recommended – 7am, when still in bed. Got up without usual sleepiness but possibly due to excitement about the idea of banishing morning blues.
Events: Work, visiting a friend’s grandmother, political meeting, more work.
Physical notes: Heart rate higher – fluctuating from mid-70s to high-80s. Possibly due to continued overconsumption of caffeine despite not needing it. Will try to cut it out. Dry mouth still present but not as bad.
Mental notes: Still great. Not as overwhelming as yesterday, but shock probably worn off. Managed to channel initial hyperfocus into writing the first two entries of this blog. Good mood, but PMS due to start tomorrow (says Clue app). Interesting note: seem to be able to pick out different parts of a music track (separate instruments, backing vocals) with more clarity.

Day 3 – Worried about calm
General notes: Took 30mg Elvanse at 7.30.
Events: Work, driving for the first time on meds, games night
Physical notes: Heart-rate stabilising in high 70s but quickly races if doing anything physical; huge energy dip in afternoon but almost certainly due to caffeine withdrawal; appetite better. Slept poorly previous night.
Mental notes: Lost some of that hyperfocus. More easily distracted. Still much better than usual but no longer feels “super power” ish. Still lots more energy in the morning.

Day 4 – Square eyes
General notes: Weekend. 30mg Elvanse at 8.30. Alone all day.
Events: Bugger all. Stared at laptop (working, at least) and tidied living room.
Physical notes: Heart-rate at low- to mid-70s, which is great considering I’ve been drinking coffee and diet coke all day. Body clearly sorting itself out. Dry mouth still present. Appetite better but not high. Managed to go until evening without thinking “time to eat!”
Mental notes: Happy, certainly in the morning. All signs of mania gone. Bit less joyful by evening. Brain working well, and able to focus for hours on working. Did not dredge up motivation to do garden as planned.

Day 5 – Sunday funday (not fun evening)
General notes: 30mg Elvanse at 08.30.
Events: Went to garden centre, pottered about house.
Physical notes: Crash bad. Very sleepy and nauseous in late evening (22.00 onwards).
Mental notes: Good focus during morning and early afternoon, fading towards 16.00. Felt a slight bit of anxiety for first time but possibly situational rather than ‘random’.

Day 6 – Oh, fuck, the finances…
General notes:
Take 30mg of Elvanse at 8.00. Handful of cashews for breakfast. Two half-tubs of (healthy!) leftovers for dinner.
Physical notes: Afternoon crash hits at 16.00, but I have discovered that this is probably my own fault for not bloody eating. Resolve when get home with protein and veg and feel fine again.
Mental notes: As above – clear mind apart from the three-hour window when my low blood sugar must have combined with the pill wearing off for a foggy, un-fun effect. Able to think rationally about fixing financial situation, which is great improvement. Not a productive day as worried about previous, although not physically anxious.

Day 7 – A week in, and all’s well (more or less)
General notes: Pill (30mg Elvanse) at 7.30. Last day of the 30mg tablets – I’m boosted to 50mg from tomorrow.
Physical notes: Much better afternoon energy now I’m making myself eat during the day. Stomach a bit funny first thing in the morning (an hour after pill), but nothing drastic.
Mental notes: Nighttime sulk is first time I’ve felt ‘down’ since starting meds. Not dramatic, but noticeable.

Day 8 – Time for a boost!
General: First day of 50mg Elvanse. Take with food at 7.30, like I’m supposed to.
Physical notes: Heart rate higher (between 80-90 for most of the day). Dry mouth still there but no worse. Appetite very low until about 20.00, then fine. Takes ages to get to sleep.
Mental notes: Feel great – focused, euphoric, capable. Hoping at least two of the three stick with me! 😉

Day 9 – Thrice socialised
General notes: Second day on 50mg Elvanse.
Events: See friends at lunch, see friend’s grandmother after work, then political meeting where I take minutes
Mental notes: Still happy, get a bit frustrated with computer and a little manic in the evening after too much coffee.
Physical notes: Again regarding the coffee, feel quite strange after fourth cup. A bit light-headed and heart racing. Back to normal very quickly though. Manage to eat OK dinner (chips and spring roll).

Day 10 – Food on Friday
General notes: 50mg Elvanse at 06.30. Do a bad job remembering to eat today.
Events: Built a barbecue!
Mental notes: Fine, mainly, but pretty groggy by the end of the day due to lack of eating, I think.
Physical notes: Didn’t even check heart rate but it didn’t feel uncomfortable. Appetite not actually awful, was hungry but kept missing opportunities to eat and so got very sleepy by 16.00.

Day 11 – And… action!
General notes: Take 50mg Elvanse at noon (12.00) in an attempt to stay alert until past 02.00.
Physical notes: Fail in above attempt, sleepy by 21.00! Power through by eating more (Quorn fish fingers and some instant pasta crap) and having too much caffeine. Heart rate a bit high but not too bad, have spaced out coffee better.
Mental notes: Focus on writing excellently during the day, and get up to do housework when I feel mentally fatigued. Really proud of myself. Sleepy and not very clear by midnight (00.00) but not surprised by that!

Day 12 – On the farm
General notes: 50mg Elvanse at 9.30-ish
Events: Meet Joe’s bosses(!), go around the farm
Mental notes: Pretty good – happy, and able to concentrate on some work in the morning. Pleased with how meeting with Joe’s bosses went.
Physical notes: All seems fine. Long walk did me good. Bit sleepy early evening, better after a coffee. Period started.

Day 13 – So sleepy
General notes: 50mg Elvanse at 07.00, but don’t get up until 07.30
Mental notes: Slow, foggy, distracted
Physical notes: Very tired from quite early on, slight anxiety, neck and back aches

Day 14 – Two-week check-in
General notes: 50mg Elvanse at 06.45. Sleep: 5hr55min (not v. good).
Physical notes: Neck and back start aching around 11.00. Sleepy and hungry (I eat too much pasta!) in the early evening.
Mental notes: Concentration quite good. Brain definitely foggy when I get home, forgetting words and things. Still motivated enough to do some work and housework. Bit fractious in the later evening.

Day 15 – Energy costs peanuts
General notes: 50mg Elvanse (after toast & peanut butter, hooray) at 07.20. Kicks in at 08.00-ish. Get 7hr13min sleep (q. good).
Physical notes: Period finished day early (?). I realise I’ve forgotten to record my heart rate for ages now. It seems to stay around 80-85. Appetite low during day, fine (not overly high) in evening.
Mental notes: Very happy and energetic in morning, less cheerful by evening but still decent energy levels and reasonable motivation.

Day 16 – Hair and hysterics
General notes: 50mg Elvanse at 07.30, after piece of toast and PB. Sleep: 7hr59m (v. good)
Events: Finish shopping for misc. wedding stuff, get hair dyed
Physical notes: Feel a bit ill, like I’m fighting something off – I think unrelated to meds. Feel better by evening.
Mental notes: Positive and motivated through much of daytime, though a bit anxious (situational: wedding). More negative by 23.00, very negative by 00.00. Cry about being terrible at housekeeping.

Day 17 – Last day of work as a spinster

General notes: 50mg Elvanse at 07.00, after toast with PB. Sleep: 5hr10min (bad)
Physical notes: Grotty and tired, from crying last night. Otherwise fine.
Mental notes: As above

Day 18 – Whirlwind

General notes: 50mg Elvanse at about 09.00, after breakfast
Events: Last day at home before flying off for wedding at family’s house in France.
Physical notes: Appetite poor until quite late – 20.00 – then fine. Getting light-headed when cleaning but I think that’s just the chemicals.
Mental notes: (Understandably) tense but able to focus and get stuff done.